Most of my life I’ve struggled with the inability to fit in with the societal norm. Struggled with nurturing friendships, and whilst I’ve had friends throughout my life, I have never experienced a feeling of connectedness that I see play out in others’ relationships.
I thought of myself as odd. Someone who couldn’t connect for unknown reasons. I labelled myself as different, and in doing so, adorned myself with had an extremely negative connotation and allowing my difference to be deemed unappealing and wrong.
But it is not. And therein lies the acceptance I speak of.
My difference is unique, and most importantly, it is me. I have come to accept who I am, and rather than wallow in the negative and constantly belittle who I am, I realise the need to stop the negative self talk and replace it with positiveness. I was constantly using the term – a blinds up blinds down existence. Ive now started to change that narrative with, ‘look at my life, I am free to choose how I live. It maybe a quiet existence, one that is devoid of human relationships. I’ve realised that is now ok.
It seems once acceptance is truly and deeply acknowledged, peace will prevail.
As I write these words, my precious dogs lay nearby and they alone are the beings that truly shape my existence. I hope to soon move house, I don’t know where, but I shall simply allow it all to play out the way it is supposed to. I don’t want to strive for anything in particular anymore. I want to simply live minute by minute and hour by hour.
And accept.
stanley & bear 