hidden
I don’t know why that latest rejection left me feeling this way. Is it because the decision triggered negative emotions buried deep in my psyche to surface? Perhaps. And as a result, self-pity comes to the emotive party – an emotion I despise.
Interestingly, my instincts screamed at me not to attend, it was as if my subconscious knew the outcome and the effect that outcome would have. I liken it to knowing I’ll get burned, yet I still place my hand above the flame.
Odd. I don’t know why I went backward. A sense of closure, a redemption of my ability to display worthiness. Again, I don’t know. I wish I did as maybe then, only then, I’d be able to process the emotions, the feeling of rejection, the ability to accept that that chapter is well and truly over.
I need to close the proverbial book and embrace the good of what was, for the good, at one point, was in abundance.
So I need to take a forward step and believe my own words ; ‘what is for you, won’t go by you…’ that was not for me, hence why it went by.
Embrace that and move forward. Self pity was not invited…
stanley & bear 