With the arrival of a long-awaited Indian visa, the day of my bittersweet departure has dawned.
I say bittersweet because I’m torn. Torn between the joy of fulfilling dreams and the pain of leaving behind those who complete my world.
Max, Rob, Stanley, Oscar, Simon, Eddie & Mum, fill my life with love, laughter and joy: leaving them, albeit temporarily breaks my heart.
“I feel so selfish,’ I said to Mum this morning. “I desperately want this job in India, but I don’t want to leave you, the boys and the pups”.
My ‘pups’ are my adored four-legged family and they will not understand. And that breaks my heart.
A few years ago I went to live in Taiwan for 3 months and I wrote the post, wish I could speak Dachshund . The feelings expressed in that post mirror my feelings today.
Interestingly enough Oscar, the patriarch of my canine pack is decidedly different today. Normally he is a very chilled, laid back chap who sits alone and simply surveys the day’s events without too much ado. Yet today, he has not let me out of his sight.
I believe he knows. Yet he does not appear to be sad, which is comforting as part of me feels he is giving me the reassurance I need. Letting me know it will be okay, and that I shouldn’t worry. As I write now, I can feel his gentle, rhythmic breathing – it is indeed reassuring and comforting.
Fast forward a few hours and I am now sitting at the airport waiting for the first on my four flights that will see me finally in India in 48 hours. And whilst I walked out of my door earlier this afternoon with quite a heavy heart, I also left knowing that all will be okay.
Bittersweet farewells indeed.
stanley & bear 