I love being a silent observer: watching people move through their lives, bearing witness, yet devoid of the need to participate.
And I love having the freedom to move through life without plans or destinations in mind.
But I had a plan: a plan to be in India for 12 months, but for reasons difficult to explain my time in India ended, and despite the trials of getting there, leaving is something I am incredibly thankful for.
Rather than try to understand why it was not be, it can simply be said that I chose to follow my heart and release the weight placed upon me whilst being in India.
My decision to leave was made quite swiftly and within hours of doing so, I was ascending through the clouds on a Thai Smiles aircraft, leaving India and my unsettled feelings far behind.
The higher we climbed, the more elevated I felt.
I’ve always been one to follow my ‘gut’ and from the moment I stepped on Indian soil I felt an indescribable need to flee. I also felt confusion for I have travelled extensively through 3rd world countries without ever feeling such an intense need to leave.
I had hoped on arrival at the Animal sanctuary where I was to work, those feelings would melt into the love I could share with the animals. And although the love for the many beautiful beings who called the sanctuary home intensified, unfortunately so did my feelings of dread. All I wanted to do was run, I don’t know why and I cannot explain, in the end, I simply followed my instincts.
Trouble is, we broadcast our lives across the pages of social media: I do it, as do many others. It is not for ‘likes’ or acceptance, it has simply become a way of life. More so for me as a writer and photographer, as I find the opportunity to document fulfilling.
However the dark side of social media can often raise its venomous head. The need to portray one’s life as perfect – a life portrayed on the pages can sometimes be quite different from reality. And I probably fell victim to that, for behind the smiles and happy images, in reality I was filled with sadness and dread.
There were a few exceptions, I did absolutely ADORE Buff the water buffalo – he was simply divine! And I also felt peace with the beautiful Indian family who had warmly welcomed me into their home.
Their kindness is something I shall never forget: Sagar & Sahill you are truly gems – you made me laugh so much. A post entirely on your comings & goings and funny ways is sure to be in the making.
But despite my adopted Indian family, as the days lingered, my feelings of dread intensified and I knew in my heart I had to act. But where would I go?
A number of years ago, I was travelling through Europe and one afternoon whilst strolling through Paris without a destination in mind, I decided to follow the ‘little green man’.
To explain, when stopped at an intersection, I would simply walk in the direction of the flashing green man ‘walk’ sign. In doing so, I found myself wandering along side streets devoid of tourists, where Parisians adorned bars and cafes with their usual nonchalance and style.
However not having a little green man to follow in India, I chose the next best thing: Skyscanner’s ‘everywhere’ button. Once having typed a departure city, Skyscanner gives the option of choosing Everywhere, which brings up countless flights from cheapest to most expensive. And that’s how I ended up in Bangkok – it was cheap and easy to get there and having flown there often as airline crew, I knew it was the hub for numerous other destinations. Once there I used Skyscanner’s ‘everywhere’ again and found myself booked on a flight to Bali.
And by simply following my heart again, I stayed at the beautiful and tranquil Sarinbuana Eco Lodge, free of charge. In exchange for an incredible villa and meals I simply shot images for their website and social media pages.
Tomorrow I head to a villa in Canguu where I shall be spending a couple of weeks dog-sitting 3 fur-babes whilst their Mum heads overseas.
How is this is all possible? Through a site called Workaway, I wont go into detail, but click on the link to get more info. In a nutshell, you do a few hours work a day and in return, you are given accomodation and food. For me it is not about travelling on the cheap (although it certainly is that) moreover, it’s about having the opportunity to travel and be immersed with local people.
Unfortunately I will have to leave Bali by 18 Feb as I made a massive faux pas at the airport regarding my visa, but hey, maybe that’s the little green man making my decisions for me.
I’m starting to get a little concerned. Why I hear you ask? Well it’s like this.
I’m not sure if fate is preparing me for dealing with Indian bureaucracy, which according to a BBC report, is the worst in Asia, or my application for an Employment Visa is simply lying in a slush pile at the Indian Embassy silently screaming, ‘pick me, pick me.’
Whatever the answer, with December 27 approaching at speeds likened to a B777 at 37,000ft, I’m a little worried. For without visa in hand, or more importantly my passport, which is of course lying in wait with my visa application, I’m not going anywhere.
Adding to the mix, I fear the delay is also due to the fact the big, fat man in the red suit is on his way. Let’s be honest, the festive season invariably causes life outside of gift shopping to cease and only begins again when the contrails from his speeding sleigh have long since dissolved.
So where does that leave me?
Well that’s easy to answer, unlike my beautiful Oscar in the above image, I’m sending out positive vibes whilst patiently waiting, waiting, waiting.
Since making the decision to move to India, the comments and opinions I’ve heard have been polarised. From the negative: “India, are you mad…”, to the positive: “you are an inspiration, I admire your courage…’.
So with the date of my departure now clearly visible on the horizon and the fundamentals of my move sorted (except for my visa but that’s another post), I’ve had time to reflect on this so-called courageous leap off my life’s cliff.
And how do I feel?
I know I’m not scared for I thrive on adventure, and I’m definitely ready to dip my toes into unclear waters, despite not knowing what lurks beneath the surface.
However from an emotional perspective, I know I’m in for a wild ride. My emotions will make me feel like I’m riding the X2 rollercoaster at Magic Mountain: propelling to great heights one day, before plunging to the lowest of lows the next. But I’m expecting that as it’s one of the side effects of travelling and choosing to live outside your comfort zone. I remember clearly experiencing the lows when I lived in Penghu, Taiwan a few years ago. You can read about my little Penghu breakdown here…
Of course it would be ‘safer’ for me to remain where I am doing the same job, seeing the same people on a daily basis, yet lately I have been feeling like an extra in the movie, Groundhog Day. And for me, that’s not living, that’s simply existing.
So despite knowing I’m about to ride an emotional rollercoaster, I’m going to jump, jump off my cliff. I don’t know if I shall soar or crash, but I do know that jumping will allow growth, knowledge and most importantly, living life without regret.
Udaipur, known as the Venice of the east, lies in the Indian state of Rajasthan.
Set around a series of lakes and bordered by the lush, green hills of the Aravallis, Udaipur’s stunning palaces, colourful streets and a lively art scene invite exploration.
With that said however, I’m going to leave further description of Udaipur for when I get there. For whilst I’m able to research and write about the city, being there and experiencing the people, the culture and the lifestyle and how it impacts my lifestyle is what I want to portray.
So how did I get to the point where Udaipur will be my new home?
Serendipity, chance, fate: call it what you will, just don’t call it planned, for living in India was something I had never entertained. That was until I read a Facebook post advertising the type of role I’d envisaged doing after completing my journalism degree 10 years ago: to work with an animal aid organisation, generating awareness of their cause through imagery and words.
At that moment something (fate or the like) whispered, ‘do it, you’re good enough, so write the email and hit send’.
So I did.
It was nothing fancy nor was the email awash with colourful adjectives, it was simple, honest and to the point. And to my complete surprise, 3 hours later I received a response.
Two weeks on, with my visa submitted, flights booked, and my beloved sausage dogs organised to remain in the care of my sons, the only thing left to do is go.
I’ve always been one to splash my life with colour. It’s been said at times the colours I splash across my world are somewhat extreme, but hey, as the cliche goes, that’s life.
Once again, I’ve changed the colour of my world and I’m heading to Udaipur, India. Not to visit, but to live.
I head there knowing, or should I say, suspecting it will be a proverbial attack on the senses. For whilst I’ve travelled to many countries in my life, India is not one of them and I’ve no doubt that I’m about to be plunged into a life whereby my emotions and patience will be tested.
So this is the first of many posts where I shall share the laughter, the chaos and the colourful characters that will awash my new life .